I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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