she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
