God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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