We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
