Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
