all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
