I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
