oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
