it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
