She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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