weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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