if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
