In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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