Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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