whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
