There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
