Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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