I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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