Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
