Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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