is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
