I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i dont even know how to be here
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
