we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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