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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
