Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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