When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
