oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
