Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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