It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
