Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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