I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
