I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
