I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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