Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
