please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
