The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
