We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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