He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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