Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ugly people sure do ruin things
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
