dude i'm inner monologue high
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
