i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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