you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
