OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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