whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
