Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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