So drunk its hurt
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
