Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
