Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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