I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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