I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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