i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
