The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
